Tag Archives: young men

Alas, how quickly the gratitude owed to the dead flows off, how quick to be proved a deceiver. — Sophocles

Kirill was a good and decent man.

Groundhog Day, February 2, 2026, is my sixty-fifth birthday, and I have mixed feelings. On the one hand, I am thankful to be alive and for all the good things I have. I have lived longer than many of the people I have known, and despite the hardship I experienced along the way, things are generally good. At the same time, I am feeling bummed because I learned of the senseless and untimely death of a young man in Ukraine whose name was Kirill. He was killed in action serving in the Ukrainian Army in the ongoing war with Russia. He was twenty-four years old. He was conscripted into military service at nineteen and survived many battles before his luck ran out. I only knew him remotely through my fishing buddy Colin, who was one of many of Kirill’s friends. I learned about Kirill, his background, and character through conversations with Colin and the photos and videos he shared with me. Kirill was a fine young man who withstood the privations and stresses of compulsory military service in a useless war over a territorial dispute. What bothers me about his death, beyond the fact that he was so young and had his whole life ahead of him, is that looking back on my life, I served as a volunteer in the Canadian Army at his age. At the time, I thought military service would be an adventure. My grandfathers and great-uncles served in the Canadian Army and the Royal Canadian Navy during the Second World War. They had a sense of duty and volunteered. One of my great-uncles was killed in France during the battle for Caen. He is buried in the Commonwealth War Cemetery in Calais. I also had a sense of duty. I served for 4 years as a reservist from 1978 to 1982, and I was free to leave the service at any time. I was mustered out after 4 years, and that completed my brief, undistinguished stint of military service.

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Time makes us sentimental. Perhaps, in the end, it is because of the time that we suffer. — André Aciman

This is what a gay high school boy looked like in 1979.

I like gay romance in print and on film. The positive portrayal of romance and intimacy between two men or high school boys is lovely. Gay youth and men exist and have the same need for love and companionship as the heterosexual majority. Especially given that in Western society, intimacy between men was criminalized for a long time–it was considered “gross indecency” and punishable by imprisonment. Beyond that, public prejudice was prevalent throughout the 20th century. I remember it well. Recently, I met up with a man I knew in high school. We had not seen each other since graduation in 1980. We met through a mutual friend and ex of mine. I had no idea that my high school buddy was gay. We are both in our sixties and retired. I am happily partnered, and he is single. It was good to see him again.

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Masculinity is not something given to you, but something you gain. And you gain it by winning small battles with honor. — Norman Mailer

 

Protests in Wisconsin aftermath of Kenosha shooting

Kyle Rittenhouse, the seventeen-year-old from Illinois, who got into deadly confrontations with rioters in Kenosha, Wisconsin, showed he is more a man than the older men who attacked him. He found himself in the same situation that millions of young men throughout history have: when confronted by an attacker in warfare or civil unrest, you make the stark choice–it is him or me. Rittenhouse did everything possible to avoid the confrontations. He tried to leave the rioting scene when he was separated from the older men he accompanied in a local business’s defence. He was asked to take part in protecting the local business that was set on fire in the rioting the night before. He armed himself, yes, for self-protection, and that is how he used his rifle, an AR-15, in the end.

Moreover, he knew how to use his rifle. He fired five shots at the first attacker (when the first shots were fired), and one shot each at the second and third attackers as a last resort when cornered by them. Regrettably, two of the attackers died, and the third suffered a grievous wound to his arm. Whether he should have been there or not is academic. The fact remains, had Rittenhouse not used deadly force to stop the attackers, he would be either seriously injured or dead at the rioters’ hands. A second-hand account of what happened to the attacker who survived states, “I just talked to [name redacted] too–his only regret was not killing the kid and hesitating to pull the gun before emptying the entire mag into him. Coward.” (National File) Following the shootings, he ran to the law on the scene, trying to surrender to the police. The police on the scene told him to move along. He turned himself in to the police in Illinois, and he faces several criminal charges in Wisconsin.

He will have his day in court. He killed two men and wounded a third. Being a man means facing the consequences of your actions. I think he understands that. He will have to live with the reality that he killed two men. It will remain on his conscience for the rest of his days. He is caught up in a critical situation, not of his own making that will determine the rest of his life. As the investigation into the shootings is underway, the available evidence supports the argument that he acted in self-defence. It will be some time before a judgement is handed down–he faces six charges. In the meantime, he will endure the media’s efforts and various interest groups to paint him and his family being all manner of villainy. I wish him well as he rides out the storm ahead. I hope he will be able to get on with his life when the court proceedings are concluded. Given how the young Rittenhouse handled himself when he came under attack that fateful night, I think as he matures and leaves his adolescence behind, he will become a fine man. He aspired to join the police force; I hope he can realize his ambition as he showed excellent character strength for such a young man. I think he will be an acceptable candidate for the police force if he stays the course he took before the unfortunate events in Kenosha interrupted his career path. Regardless, his life will never be the same.

Posted by Geoffrey